When asked about record-high child-poverty rates in B.C. and what his government could do about it, Canadian Industry Minister James Moore,[Scrooge], replied: “Is it my job to feed my neighbour’s child? Is that always the government’s job to be there to serve people their breakfast?”
Now that Canada Post is stopping home mail delivery, Seniors and the disabled will have to walk to “super-mailboxes” to collect their mail. Canada Post CEO commented that seniors have told him that they want more exercise!
The requirement that people wear medical masks while visiting senior centres, care homes and hospitals during flu season has had the unintended consequence of impeding Christmas concert offerings!
“I don’t know how to turn the damn thing on, but its good for a mug-shot” [Vancouver police are collecting used cell-phones, set up to dial 911, and giving them to vulnerable Seniors]
Bite TV holds auditions for a new reality show, “Battle Cats” in which cats, [“cathletes”] will compete in pole-dancing ,wall-climbing, balance beam and laser ring. [The winner receives a “cat-ass-trophy”]
The Vancouver Aquarium released 5 rescued harbour seals back into the ocean and plans to monitor them using satellite transmitters attached to the pups’ heads.