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Twice cooked. Slump in cookie sales and girl guide membership

” Fifteen million boxes unsold, you eat those cookies.”

Bangers and Bluster. Brexit Sausage Wars.

” Well, if they’re going to be thin skinned about our sausage, I’ll tell them their mustard doesn’t cut it.”

Frittata Cicada. Buon appetito.

Billions of Cicadas are emerging after 17 years and many of them are going into the pot.

“Actually Muriel, I don’t care for Dvorak, his father was a butcher.”

The Scandinavian Cello School play for cows who apparently like classical music ( except for Dvorak).

The Auld Alliance. Scottish pet food company moves to France to avoid Brexit restrictions.

“Ca va?..Nae bad, yersel?..Pas mal..Can I trade yer a couple of croquettes de bois de cerfs for one of your croquettes de viande chevaline and a tour of your knapdarloch?”

“Remember, we Fish are British and happier after Brexit.”

Rees Mogg quip infuriates the Scots fishermen.

“The Brits may not have mastered Bouillbaisse but they make a great ham sandwich……Merde!..Moutarde Anglaise.”

Border guards seize British truckers ham sandwiches due to new Brexit rules.

Doing the Brexit walk.

‘Ev’rything free and easy,Do as darn well pleasey.’